The Life of A Batty Broad

Good Intentions, Flawed Results

Socially Unacceptable Party Game Answers

You know those questions people ask when they are trying to get to know you; the ones that are something like “If you could have three wishes, what would they be?”  I hate those questions.  The only question I dislike even more is “what’s your favorite color?”  The answer is “I don’t know”.  Based on the reaction to my answer I believe that knowing your favorite color is a requirement to participate in social activities.  I am clearly failing in this area.

that_moment_when_you_get_asked_a_question_you_should_know_the_answer_to_but_dont-97589

I hate the question because there is expectation attached to it.  I’m supposed to say things like, “money” or “more wishes”, or “world peace”.  And of course, who doesn’t want those things?  But by the time you have reached my age, what you really want are the things that are going to get you through this life slightly more unscathed than you’ve been able to achieve so far.

Here are my three wishes:

bed_health_xsm

  • Just once I would like to wake up looking actually refreshed.  Does this happen to anyone?  Every commercial I see, even with people who are suffering from some god forsaken ailment that can only be cured by large doses of over-the-counter medicine, wake up looking more refreshed than I do on a good day.  I have no explanation for my disheveled and slightly frightening appearance.  I’m becoming convinced that I belong to a sleep fight club.  This would explain a lot.

cat bad hair day

  • One time I would like to be prepared for what’s about to happen.

Be-prepared-to-stop

If I were to write my memoir the title would be “Unforeseen Circumstances”.  The first chapter would be called “Well I Didn’t See That One Coming”, followed by “Ouch, That’s Going to Leave a Mark”.  I don’t believe anyone can prepare for their life.  I mean give it all you got but don’t be surprised when it gives you all it’s got right back.  All I’m asking is for someone to yell “duck” before life gives me the next swift upper cut.

Punch in the Face Impact

  • The ability to fall gracefully.

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I know this might sound silly but if you have seen me fall, and honestly I hope you haven’t, then you would know that I fall like a giant redwood in the forest.  It scares people.  Usually there is yelling and running over and lots of questions about my status and sometimes there is the sound of sirens because someone calls an ambulance.  Also it hurts.

people-falling-down

It’s a wonder that I get invited to parties at all based on my lack of a favorite color and my inability to provide standard one word socially acceptable answers to party games.  Maybe if I woke up feeling refreshed I wouldn’t have these problems.

If you invite me to a party, you have been warned.

8 comments on “Socially Unacceptable Party Game Answers

  1. I would read that book called “Unforeseen Circumstances!” It would be very funny judging from the chapter titles you mentioned! :o)

    • mickimarca
      March 17, 2014

      Darcy, it’s a definite possibility for the future. Right now I’m writing a book called “What to expect when what you were expecting isn’t what you expected” the truth about parenting.

  2. Angela McKeown Momopolize
    March 17, 2014

    I think you have figured out the PERFECT title for your memoir! 🙂 As far as the question about wishes, responding “I wish you’d stop asking stupid questions” would guarantee you wouldn’t be asked again. But, of course, you may spend a lot of time standing in the corner alone at future parties. 😉

    • mickimarca
      March 17, 2014

      Yes I don’t want to be ostracized any further. Of course I get sent to the corner a lot already with my big mouth. That’s why I write, so I won’t say those things out loud. Ha

  3. Jenn
    March 17, 2014

    Ditto. I think the book would be hilarious.
    I too could write a chapter titled “that’ll leave a mark”. I blame it on my astigmatism and lack of depth perception.
    My husband just says I’m a klutz. I’m perpetually bruised.

    • mickimarca
      March 17, 2014

      Jenn, me too! I am going to use that as an excuse. I think I’m just clumsy and I have weak ankles (true story). What kind of God gives you large calves and weak ankles. So unfair! Being klutsy would be fine but it’s that I do it in such a catastrophic fashion. I mean slapstick style. It scares the heck out of everyone. 🙂

  4. momofmanywordsblog
    March 17, 2014

    Refreshed… nope, haven’t seen that in a while. Great post!

    • mickimarca
      March 17, 2014

      Exactly! Would it be too much to ask just once? 🙂

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