Good Intentions, Flawed Results
I have been looking forward to this week for more years than I can count. Christmas is coming early this year for me. That might not sound too exciting if at this point in your life Christmas just means spending money you don’t have on people who don’t care and gaining 10 pounds in the process. No, this is KID Christmas for me. This is 6 year old, still believe in Santa and can’t wait to see what he brought for you kind of exciting.
In two days, I will attend the Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. My love of Erma began at a very early age, I read her column in the paper and even though I wasn’t a mom living in the suburbs I felt that I really understood what she was talking about. Most important to me, Erma was witty; very witty.
When I was 12 years old, my Dad sent me a box of books as he did every summer. This summer the box included two books by Erma: “The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank” and “If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What am I Always Doing in the Pits?” I quickly devoured both books and my love for Erma was solidified forever. I secretly wanted to be the next Erma Bombeck.
Here’s the part where I would like to say – “Fast forward x years and I am the new Erma”, but alas no I am not. I am a writer who writes humor and other genres but I am not Erma; I will never be Erma. What Erma was best at was just being her, oh and being funny. So I will go to the conference that I have longed to attend and live out my kid Christmas with lots of other women and men who feel the same reverence for Erma that I do. In the short period of time prior to this conference I have had the opportunity to interact with many of the attendees online and although I haven’t met them in person I feel like I’m going to a reunion of old friends (very funny old friends) rather than meeting hundreds of strangers.
I may laugh until I can’t breathe, spit milk through my nose, say inappropriate things during inopportune moments, fall on my face during stand-up (literally), forget my elevator pitch, run out of business cards, drink too much and not get an hour of sleep but it will be wonderful, gloriously wonderful. Just like kid Christmas.
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