The Life of A Batty Broad

Good Intentions, Flawed Results

Hey Buddy, Have You Seen My Rhythm?

I’m having one of those weeks. You know the ones.  It seems like you are always running late or forgot something important or missed a deadline or accidentally left a child somewhere or (fill in the blank).

Somewhere, somehow, I’ve lost my rhythm.  I can’t catch the beat no matter which song seems to be playing and I’m standing in the middle of a metaphorical dance floor gyrating like a clown on a serious acid trip.  Can someone turn off the music so I can stop this craziness?  Help me out, this is getting embarrassing.

Crazy Dancing

Yes, this is what my life looks like right now

The worst part of losing your rhythm is that you start to wonder if you just misplaced it or if it ran away from home.  Should you just keeping looking around or should you launch a nationwide alert for it’s recovery?  My rhythm just might be fed up and left for a tropical beach where reaching over to grab a pina colada is the highest level of stress for the day.

I think this picture was sent by my rhythm

I think this picture was sent by my rhythm

Wherever my rhythm has gone, I wish it would come back because I’m a hot mess without it.  Today I nearly strangled myself while attempting to curl my hair and talk on my cell phone.  My headphones from the phone and the cord from the curling iron decided to “get it on” while I was multitasking.  I barely escaped a third degree burn on my forehead while attempting to limbo under the tangled cords while wearing a bath towel.  I walked away with a little less dignity but all of my hair and a resolve to post a reward for the safe return of my rhythm.

Let's be clear the reward isn't cash

Let’s be clear the reward isn’t cash

If you happen to see my rhythm hanging out in your local bar, driving a convertible down a sunny highway, lounging on the beach, or betting it all at the craps table in Vegas, please feel free to throw a bag over it’s head, pack it up and send it to me C.O.D.  Think of it as a community service. One more week without my rhythm and there could be a calamity of epic proportions.

This could definitely happen

This could definitely happen

You have been warned

 

2 comments on “Hey Buddy, Have You Seen My Rhythm?

  1. amyfsherman
    April 26, 2014

    Your rhythm may be on the lamb, but your sense of humor is sticking by you. And that is what matters most. (Until your curling iron takes you out.)

    “Dance like I am watching you.” I need the laughs.

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